[2006]Perplexed~..

http://blog.sina.com.cn/s/blog_4a12e03a01000550.html

I surfed around the internet and accidentally went into one of JunJun's old blog. I read through some of the entries, and found out some of JunJun's thoughts right after she joined the Super Girl Audition... and lost in the last 50..

It might be something interesting to read... so I translated it..

but my english is still... not good ...

so ~ i think i made many mistakes on grammars...

but JunJun in 2006 ~ when she was still a normal girl :)

another side of JunJun :)

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迷惘~..

(2006-08-01 21:41:49)

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我 不知道该怎样做才能做到完美!.今天才知道..原来生活中的一些小细节也会成为我走向失败的交接点.!坦白来说我并没有把自己做为一名艺人.或者一个明 星,..虽然我我已经准备向着混杂的演艺圈发展..但是明星又如何,,一名好的艺人不就是因为有那么多支持他(她)喜欢他(她)的FANS才能顺利走下去 的吗!??参加超女。.我把这里作为我人生一次挑战.也可以说是一次体验.,因为我知道..想更好的走进这个圈子.就必须有好的基础和丰富的经验..//

虽 然只走进了50强.!但是却很满足.,一直以来所有的比赛对我而言,,我并不注重它的结果!更多的是过程..过程完美了,,结果怎么样.也就没那么在乎 了.//我很感动.!也很开心!只走进50强的我还有那么多支持我关心我的人!真的很感动.~~我希望能和他们有更进的距离~因为我知道我少不了他们的支 持...也许我只走进50强让他们失望了~但是他们依旧支持我..,我不知道还能说什么才能表达出我对他们的感谢..我只想和他们拉近距离.,,他们像朋 友一样的关心我鼓励我~但是我不知道~也许我错了.~我遭到了质疑..认为我和他们走的太近,.失去了神秘~失去了艺人的标准`~我迷惘了~我甚至不知所 措...一直以来都没想过也没给自己一个身份,.~我错了吗?!~我觉得没有..毕竟我只是前50..如果没有他们的支持我什么都不是,~不是吗?~我错 了?>~~~

捷告诉我"是怎么样就是怎么 样..活在自己的世界里不要让别人的要求束缚自己"他让我选择了就坦然面对..这些我知道..我都知道!~可是才发现真正发生的时候是那么难以控制的面队 一切,~~~也许我该坚强点.听坚强~我应该捷的..台前就算打段了牙齿也要和血吞~伤到后面再去向朋友倾诉吧..也许我应该这样吧..应该吧.`~~

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Perplexed~..

I don't know how to be perfect!. I realized today that,even some small things in life could lead me to fail.! Actually, I did not think that I am an artist, or an idol... Although I prepared to head into the complicated entertainment business.. but an idol does not mean anything.. a good artist existed only due to his/her fans support.. Joining the Super girl audition.. was a challenge in my life. It was an expereince. Because I knew that to go into this business, I required to have good basic skill and a lot of experiences..

Although I only went into last 50, I was satisfied.. Since the beginning , I did not care about the result! I care about the process.. With a perfect process, I did not care about the result. I was touched! I was happy. I went only to last 50 but still there were many people supporting me! I was touched. I wished that I could get closer with my supporter, because I knew they supported me to go on. Maybe I disappointed them for only getting into last 50, but they still supported me. I did not know what to say to them to show my thanks.. I only wanted to get closer to them.. so they could support me like a friend. But maybe... I was wrong.. I query myself that, the closer with them, I would lose the secret identity as an artist. I was lost, I did not know what to do... I never thought of building an identity for myself as an artist.. Did I make a mistake? I did not think so... since I was just into last 50.. if no one support me... then I am nothing... Did i make a mistake?

'Jie'[JunJun's fd] told me that . "What had happened was happened. Don't let others demand to tie you up when you are living for yourself"

He made me to face the reality which I knew... But I found out that when it was actually happening, it was really hard to control.

Maybe I should be stronger. No matter what I faced on the stage and got injured... I would endure till I could go back to backstage ... and talked to my friend...

Maybe ... I should act this way...

Should..